Susan Marshall’s Media

Watch babies sometime to see how they try to express themselves. I had the delightful opportunity to spend time with my 10-month old granddaughter over the weekend and I was fascinated to witness her advancing communications skills. It got me thinking about how we learn to share what’s on our minds.

Babies cry when they are hungry, wet, or frightened, and they coo when they are content.

These noises turn into babbles and singing as they discover verbal capabilities and sound control. Their first recognizable expressions are reflections of their caregivers and surroundings; they mimic what they hear on a routine basis. (This has caused many an embarrassing moment for adults.)

As children learn language and rudimentary concepts of communication, they begin to choose words and expressions to get a desired result. At this stage, the concept of appropriateness is usually introduced.

Finally, formal education expands their vocabulary, deepens their understanding of communication, and introduces a variety of communications media. Thus, a child learns to communicate his or her thinking in a more-or-less adult world.

Going back to the earliest stages, it might be tempting to believe that thinking comes with the development of communication skills. However, if you watch a baby’s face, you will see the child react to her surroundings in a very open manner. Surely there are thoughts behind the scrunched face, the big smile, the wide-eyed observation. But it takes time to learn how to express those thoughts. Along the way, they are often covered over or replaced with the thoughts of her teachers.

A child’s views of the world are hand-me-downs from caregivers until he can begin to see and understand things from an independent perspective. Sometimes those hand-me-downs are never replaced. Arrested development makes for limited communication effectiveness.

We see the result of this in our world today. Intractable positions on all manner of topics divide and isolate people. Without having the words to describe this division and isolation, not to mention the fear it produces, many lash out in anger and resentment. Defensiveness and a holier-than-thou attitude are protection mechanisms as well.

What to do? Continue your education by intentionally learning about other people, cultures, and ideas. Study the art of listening and practice it on a daily basis. Take time to know what’s on your mind before speaking it. Develop an appreciation for the fact that not every thought that crosses your mind needs to run out of your mouth.

Every act of communication starts with a thought. Well-considered and appropriately expressed, our thoughts can unite us to others while drawing necessary and appropriate boundaries. Ill-considered and burped out, our thoughts can lead to mayhem.

We all need a break from time to time. Borrowing a page from the 12-step program, here are some things to consider just for today.

Just for today, I will…

Pretend that my life is perfect.
Let my loved ones be themselves with no comment from me.
Appreciate how well my body works even if it doesn’t look like a supermodel’s.
Look past the parched grass to appreciate the blue sky.
Ignore news from Washington.

Just for today, I will…

Be content with what I have.
Slow down to think.
Listen to my partner with true curiosity.
Pay full attention in a meeting.
Work with the resources available.
Believe in the progress we have made.

Just for today, I will…

Step into the background.
Release my desire to control.
Hold my tongue.
Practice serenity.
Refuse to be angered.

Just for today, I will…

Be myself with confidence.
Do my work with pride.
Stop worrying about what ‘they’ think.
Trust that all is as it should be.

One day, one promise. Pick yours and do it… just for today.

Read any day’s economic news and you’ll see both sides of ‘reality.’ The recession will continue for up to two more years, according to some. Others say there are bright spots—green shoots—pointing to a recovery by year-end.

“We’re in the midst of a crash,” says Warren Buffett. “We are on the road to recovery,” say White House economists.

What, exactly, is meant by a recession? A crash? Recovery? Prosperity? Who says so and why might we believe them?

On the subject of education, pundits say we are on a fast track to oblivion, OR on a slightly longer track toward redemption.

The business climate in Wisconsin is in the tank with nowhere to go but bust, OR it is destined to be reborn because of the ingenuity and grit of Midwest entrepreneurs.

Opposing sides face off on many of today’s issues. The importance of fatherhood. The rate of teen pregnancy. The necessity for light rail. The promise of embryonic stem cell research. The viability of the arts. The role of the church. The game-changing nature of technology. The power of fresh water ‘ownership.’

Each of these and many more issues has a pro and a con. A good face and a bad face. A foregone conclusion and a stupid assumption. Depending on which side of the political aisle you’re on, your views may be set in stone.

If ever there was a time to engage brain and close mouth, to educate ourselves on the issues of the day, and to recognize that hasty proclamations and actions often carry dire unintended consequences, it is now.

Critical thinking is not a skill we teach with any formality. Yet it is a characteristic of leaders that we expect. It’s time to examine both the expectation and the practice.

In order to expect that adults and leaders who influence our lives have the ability to think critically, we must begin to teach this skill at young ages.

When children are taught that they have the capability, freedom and, later, the responsibility to think carefully and choose behaviors that will yield positive outcomes, they gain a platform that supports critical thinking. Even better, they learn how to take responsibility for—and pride in—their thoughts and actions.

In teaching the discipline of thinking things through, imagining different consequences and implications of this decision or that, and helping to choose the best pathway, we are building important strength.

As young people learn that they are capable, that their decisions have consequences for themselves and others, and that they can choose one way over another, they build confidence in themselves. They learn to trust their capability, rather than deferring to some social or political mandate.

Should they be like this movie star or that athlete? Like this investment banker or that firefighter? Like this teacher or that ballerina?

No. They should invest wholeheartedly in the discovery of self and tap the best of their abilities to take them where they want to go. Let’s teach them how.

For the past generation, maybe two, we have focused on the critical need to develop math and science skills in our youth and to emphasize technology in developing new businesses.

Business schools have taught systems, equations, and bottom line thinking since their inception. At the elementary and high school levels, No Child Left Behind legislation had the effect of focusing educators on specific learning and meeting test scores in order to maintain federal funding.

The net result of these efforts has been a marked decline in the efficacy of our human capital. What do I mean?

By focusing purely on intellectual and technological advance, we have short-changed the development of character, courage, and resourcefulness. We have diminished our ability to be great as individuals, teams, and organizations.

Think back to the exhilarating days of dot-com entrepreneurialism. Teams of geeks worked round the clock for however long it took to create a finished product, system, or software application. They were challenged intellectually, physically (how long can one survive on pizza shoved under the door and no sleep?) and emotionally. The adrenaline created by the mission and belief that they would succeed kept them going beyond any reasonable expectation of endurance.

The same is true for elite athletes, performers, and explorers of all kinds. We look at such feats and tell ourselves that they are reserved for the special among us. For those rare individuals who are wired differently, built more sturdily, or driven by a passion so extraordinary it only surfaces in one in a million humans.

I wonder how much untapped capacity lives within every person, regardless of place of birth, family circumstances, or current situation? When I ask various individuals and groups, “What is your capacity?” I am often answered with looks of bewilderment. Sometimes the question evokes strong emotion, even tears.

One woman gave an answer that proved an indictment of what we have been doing for too long. Through her tears she said, “I have no idea how to answer your question, except to say that I have a hell of a lot more to offer than anybody knows about or has asked me for.”

It’s time to go on a hunt for capacity and to develop it wherever we find it. Leadership is about calling forth the energy of all workers and channeling it toward productive and profitable goals.

Forcing everyone to learn a narrow set of competencies is a recipe for constriction, not expansion. Yes, it takes big people and great discipline to discover the many talents hidden within a workforce. Further, it takes patience and consistent effort to develop them into true organizational assets.

But it seems to me this would be a wise investment of leadership time, one that promises greater engagement of the workforce and the potential for an enormous expansion of productivity.